By Dee Holloway 
As for the stuff that doesn’t fit, consider how you could pivot in real time. Forgot your latex suit? Try a wetsuit instead. Can’t fit a body pillow in your bag? What about an actual body?
Wise words from Rebekah, the emotional vampire at the heart of Lindsay Merbaum‘s upcoming novella Vampires at Sea! Find more travel tips beyond the cut in DIS/MEMBER’s first offering of original fiction.
First, the editor insists I share my credentials, so here you go: I’m a desire-devouring emotional vampire. Don’t ask me how old I am, because I don’t remember. But I do remember more orgies than you have years of life, including many that took place while traveling, which is really the best time for a ménage-a-many, so follow my advice if you want to avoid the dismal fate of a bad—or worse, boring—travel orgy. Or don’t and have a bad time. It’s your choice, I don’t care either way.
TIP 1: PACK AN ASSORTMENT OF VERSATILE LINGERIE LOOKS
Pack some mix-and-match basics that would suit any mood or theme, from nautical to medieval. I recommend a mix of leather and lace.
Or, if you’re playing with humans, select some in your size and borrow from their stock. Choose wisely, though or you’ll end up with shiny, itchy bras and hopelessly dated floss-thongs.
Remember, going Lady Godiva-nude is always a simple yet classic choice.
TIP 2: BRING YOUR OWN TOYS
I recommend you always carry your own toys. Don’t count on your fellow fuck festers to tote around goody bags of dildos, and don’t assume upscale sex resort or exclusive underground hotels will offer toy menus, either. (I’ve been sorely disappointed several times over.) Only certain rare, luxurious sex hotels offer anything worth inserting.
Now, when it comes to selecting which toys to pack, don’t try to show off; just stick to the basics. Besides, you do want to leave some space for souvenirs. Every city has a dildo shop somewhere after all. And a good, sturdy butt plug plus a thick strap-on will scratch an array of itches, regardless of your partners’ genders or body types.
As for the stuff that doesn’t fit, consider how you could pivot in real time. Forgot your latex suit? Try a wetsuit instead. Can’t fit a body pillow in your bag? What about an actual body?
TIP 3: NEVER PACK TOYS IN YOUR CHECKED BAGGAGE
Never pack your toys in your checked baggage–airport employees and sneaky border agents will rob you blind, believe me. Unfortunately, floggers in your carry-on might be perceived as weapons, ditto anything with spikes, so if you insist on bringing them, those items will have to go in your valise. Pack at your own risk!
If you’re traveling internationally and you run into any issues at Customs, just hypnotize the agents. I don’t recommend feeding off them though, unless you enjoy a chemical aftertaste of boredom and a stifled hunger for power.
TIP 4: PARTNER SELECTION – CHOOSE WISELY
Now that you’ve made it to your destination, it’s time to select your orgy participants, assuming you aren’t traveling with your own entourage of sex partners. When making your selection, aim for diversity; you want a little something for everyone. Avoid partners who talk a lot or have such a super specific fetish–nothing less will satisfy them.
TIP 5: DON’T BE THE ONE TO HOST
When it comes to hosting, don’t. Holding the orgy in your own room means you’re stuck there if you finish first. And clean-up is on you, unless you have some human minions, but hypnotized humans tend to be sloppy. Besides, it’s hard to make an entrance into your own AirBnB. Instead, convince someone else to host. Or you could always get a human to do it, sloppiness aside.
TIP 6: HUMAN CARE
On that note, if your orgy includes humans, remember to hydrate them directly via the mouth. Otherwise they dry out and, eventually, collapse. Let them sleep for a while as well–they need to spend hours in an unconscious state in order to function when they’re awake.
Now you’re looking fabulous, with your travel toys, ready to go visit someone else’s room for some extended play time. Enjoy it, you horny devils you. And don’t forget to send me an invitation.
Intrigued by Rebekah and the particulars of emotional vampirism? Hoping to meet otherworldly creatures on your next vacation? Check out Merbaum’s book Vampires at Sea, forthcoming from Creature Publishing in October 2025. Find more of Merbaum’s writing at her website, give her a follow on Instagram or Bluesky, and consider joining her Study Coven of writing workshops! Happy reading, ghouls.
